It’s Cool to BE Kind


It’s Cool to BE kind, I  20 years ago wanted to make a bumper sticker of this statement. ( I am going to do this)! I’ve always felt that the most simple practise is that of BEING Kind. There’s no heavy early morning starts, not sanskrit to remember, no deep understanding of scriptures, just pure and simple Kindness. I was once told this story by a boss of mine…

One of the Dali Lamas highest disciples once asked him, please your holiness tell me your higest teaching, so the Dali lama invited the Lama to meet him in a sacred holy chamber that evening at midnight. I can imagine how exciting it must have been for that lama being “Special” enough to be let into the most profound sacred teaching. So at midnight he went and with a pounding heart to ask  once again the question, “What is your greatest teaching master”, the Dali Lama, bless his beautiful laughing soul, simply smiled and said Kindness. 

So this is my practise, not so easy always, and what I have noticed is it most definitely starts with my SELF.

In yoga they call it Ahimsa, meaning non violence, or not to injure, to have respect for all living things, and this starts with SELF, that the non violence must start within and towards ourselves.

I have had many times in my life when my mind has been full of self hatred, self loathing and doubt, as well as comparing, judging and blaming,  this is a deep seated form of violence that permeates our collective and I know this is the cause of  violence in our world.

In my experience when my cup floweth over, i,e I am full of love, joy, bliss, positive energy and belief, I have more than enough to share with every one. It feels easy, effortless and rewarding on so many levels. One of my most favourite activities is chatting with strangers, or shall I say people I don’t yet know, even that word stranger creates a sense of separation. So I love chatting with people who I don’t yet know. To transmit love through a smile, or a few words can make all the difference. I remember a moment when I had first had my baby, walking up Gipsy hill and feeling so very low that morning, heavy and lonely, I didn’t know anyone who had just had a baby locally.       As I pushed the pram up the hill I was kinda speaking with the unseen, I call it God, just sort of longing for a connection or a sign, as I looked up a bus passed and the driver looked in my direction and “GAVE” and it was a “GIFT”, he Gave me a smile, in that moment it felt like the unseen manifest in that bus driver gave me some love, letting me know love is everywhere, people were good. It changed my day, and so that then fed all the choices and actions I took that day, and it was 14 years ago and I still remember.

When we make eye contact  love pours from our spirit, there is now Neuro- science on this subject, that our whole sense of life and self pours through the eyes of our mothers or primary care givers when we are babies and we receive immense information that way. So our presence, our attention literally is love, and kindness.


The Grateful Dead in the 60’s were at the front of the hippy revolution, and there was a culture beginning which was KINDNESS, in their songs, they’s sing about “She’s KIND”, like it was a great selling point, “He’s KIND” that it was a code word for a whole kind of person, that you knew a “KIND” person had a certain set of beliefs and an understanding of how the universe and life worked. It was a movement. Hippies nowadays are called fluffy, flaky etc… is BEING KIND flaky, I think not, I think it’s much wiser to be kind. In the work I have contributed to in leadership we explored with leaders the qualities of great leaders and kindness is up there with presence, charisma, confidence, curiosity, when I work with my clients this is the one I’m looking for, how do you treat yourself, your team, your people if you’re a company?

When I meet certain people occasionally, I just get that feeling, oh wow you’re KIND.  When I meet them, there’s a silent knowing, a recognition that’s so yummy.  I also want to say there are angels we will never know they were, and that just because you don’t wear kind loud doesn’t mean that each human being doesn’t have the capacity for great kindness.

I’m not saying I never get angry, I am sometimes unkind, not deliberately but because I am stressed, distressed or distracted or I’m not being kind to myself, BUT it is my practise, my joy, my instinct, my natural impulse to be it.

We can only be kind though if we are feeling that flow of loving kindness towards ourselves, it’s then oozing out of every pore. I also notice sometimes it can move to sacrifice, in other words I may not feel kind, or have the natural impulse, and then it’s a conscious choice to overcome my obstacles and be of love and service anyway. This has to be done without any hook and we do have to watch when we sacrifice that it is unconditional as I have noticed with myself if I “sacrifice” as I know it’s important to be kind, so I do it, but don’t feel it , I have grown resentment or wanted reward. In that case better to take care of yourself, get back to that place of overflowing self love, then it becomes effortless again. Just to close, when I have sacrificed and really got over my self, the reward is always profound, more than I could ever have imagined.


So BE cool, BE Kind, spread a little happiness as you go by…

In LOve

The Conscious Coach